On Husbands

[Note: the context for these thoughts were set in my post On Adam]

What should a Christian husband look like? Should he be domineering? Should he be a doormat? Is there another option?

There are several passages in the Bible that talk about the husband being the head of the wife.  For example, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:3…

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

He also says in Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

These passages are not speaking of a selfish or controlling headship, but rather one of willingness to assume responsibility and one of self-sacrifice, like Christ’s headship over the His people. Here’s the point: the husband is to be the head of his wife (i.e., a prophet, priest, and king) by putting his wife in the crosshairs of the Gospel of grace and the repentance and forgiveness that flows from it.

Here are some specific thoughts on how the husband is prophet, priest, and king to his wife.

1. The husband as prophet: If a prophet speaks God’s words, the husband as prophet is to speak God’s words to his wife. Specifically, he speaks the words of the Gospel of grace and forgiveness into her life.
2. The husband as priest: If a priest is one who serves God, especially by interceding on another’s behalf, the husband as priest is to pray for his wife.
3. The husband as king: If a king is to rule/lead and provide a defense, the husband is to rule by setting an example of the Gospel by demonstrating grace, repentance, and forgiveness to his wife.

Here is a final thought by Tim Keller:

“The key to a marriage is simply reenacting the gospel to each other. You can talk about communication skills or other stuff, and they’re all good, but basically knowing how to forgive and knowing how to repent… If you both can forgive and repent, it doesn’t matter how different you are, you’ll be okay. Two Christians who are married [can make it], no matter how incompatible… if you can repent and forgive” (Tim Keller, The Gospel Coalition National Conference, 2009).

 

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